Picture Dump

iPhone picture dump to catch up!!

Our first Easter!!

My first Mother's Day.

My sweet Sam's 8th grade graduation.

Sitting in our bumbos.

Our first swim. Not really that impressed.

Ready to take a walk.

Poppin' that collar!

Rainy Days

It has been raining for two days straight. Literally. It's affecting my mood y'all.

We have some pretty big changes on the horizon. It's exciting and scary all at the same time. Things we've been praying frequently and whole-heartedly for are all starting to come to fruition. It's amazing to see God's hands at work.

In the midst of all of this, I'm a little sad by the behaviors of some of those closest to us. What should be such a joyful time for us gets dampened by the negative Nancy attitudes of others. It's so silly to let that affect my happiness, but I wear my heart on my sleeve and always have.

I will never understand choosing to miss out, purposefully ignoring, consciously being hateful to your loved ones. Especially in a time of joy. But I know that bitterness and jealousy are pushing the behaviors. I also know that one day, those behaviors will be regretted. However, when is enough enough?

I am excited to share the changes as they happen... So much to be thankful for.

Until then, anyone have any boxes? ;-)

Making Marriage a Priority

I don't often blog about our marriage. At least nothing too serious or in-depth. I feel like it is sacred and something I shouldn't just put out there because it's not just about me. But a group of bloggers have been doing a weekly series on marriage and I felt called today to chime in.

Right now, I'm sure many could argue that it is easy to make our marriage a priority because we have no children. However, that does not mean that LIFE doesn't get in they way.

I work 40+ hours a week, full-time at my job plus I am now taking private practice clients as well. I also volunteer weekly with a Teen Outreach Program group. Justin is a teacher and coaches three sports. Right now he's thick into baseball season. That means this week alone he has four games, three of which are away. Plus practice. Plus trying to take care of a home, cook, clean and have a social life. So it would be very easy to push our "us time" to the side and not make it a priority.

But peeps, my marriage is my TOP priority behind my relationship and faith in my Lord and Savior. And let me say that when we are blessed with children, we have both already made the conscious decision that we will FIGHT with the devil to keep our marriage a top priority.


How do we do this? I make his likes and passions mine and vice versa - to an extent. Justin loves coaching. I enjoy watching him live out this passion. I try to make as many as his games as possible to show my support. I do anything I can for his team because they are MY team, too. I like to talk. Justin knows this (as does anyone else who is around me). We've recently started going for drives some evenings just enjoying nothing but the sound of our voices.

My husband comes first. Period. It is healthy and needed to have outside relationships and I have a wonderful collection of friends and family that I love hanging out with. But I make the choice that my husband (and our children one day soon) will always trump my to-do list. If we have had a crazy week and no time together, that means I try not to schedule anything but "us" time on the weekend. Does this always work? Heck no! But the point is - we both know that the other tries. It's obvious through our words and actions each day that we are working on making the other a priority.


We may have random date nights or date days. Sometimes we just run to the neighboring town for a quick dinner out. About once a month we will spend the day out shopping around and maybe hitting a movie. But what I make sure of is that my husband knows, without a doubt, that there is no one more important to me than him.

I'm sure some may say this is old fashioned. Some may say its unhealthy or ridiculous. Some may disagree. But I lay my head down each night and wake up each morning knowing that I have a partner in life who always tries to put our relationship at the top. Sure, we may fail some days. It's not always pretty and easy. I know that as we enter different seasons of life, we will have to adapt and change. But that's okay. We've got this.

Family Weekend

This was a weekend full of family. Saturday Justin, my mom and I drove to Cape to meet with my sister Miste and niece Ella. Ella's 10th birthday was Friday and she wanted to go shopping in St. Louis for her present. A little diva! She in particular wanted to go to the American Girl store because she had convinced my Mom, "Coy," to buy her bitty baby twins.

Ella managed to convince her Justin to go with her. To the American Girl store. Justin, who at this point says his beard is 1 1/2 reed lengths. She has how wrapped around that finger for sure. I had to giggle at the slight of a very manly man following her (and me) around the store pretending to be interested.

Having lunch with Abby Marie.

I can't even lie. I was so excited! I want to have a little girl just so I can relive American Girls. I had Molly when I was younger. She is a historical doll. And, from what I could remembered, the only one  who hasn't been retired that were original to my time. Haha. It was such an awesome store and no doubt a little girls dream.

Needless to say, Ella walked out with two bitty baby Asian girl twins, SIX bitty baby outfits, training pants for the babies, and hair accessories. She is one smart cookie bringing Baba, Justin AND Coy along.

Ella says this will be Baba and Jay's future.

Today, we went to Cape to church with Miste and Clay to see our sweet Sam as today was his Confirmation. I was so very proud of him. To see my baby boy openly profess his faith and publicly accept Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior was overwhelming. We just love him so much and he is turning into such a sweet spirited young man. Though according to his parents he is a typical teenager :) However, he knows that Baba and Justin will be there always and no matter what.

We are just so blessed to have these two wonderful children in our life and a great family to boot. This weekend was busy but full of love!

Sunday Sweet Potatoes

I had a baked sweet potato for supper. I'm obsEssed. It's so weird because I used to hate them. Then my mother-in-law called me one night after watching some show on the history channel that said sweet potatoes can cause multiples. I decided to give them a try and WHAM! Love them. I bought some Land-o-Lakes cinnamon sugar butter to put on mine tonight and it was heaven.

I also made Italian Crockpot Beef for tonight. It's the easiest and yummiest meal.

Ingredients:

Chuck roast (size depending on how many you feed - 2lb roast should serve approx 4)
2 jars peppercinni peppers OR mild pepper rings
2 packets Italian dressing seasoning
Beef broth (enough to cover roast)
Swiss cheese slices
Hoagie buns
Steak sauce

Directions:

Place chuck roast on bottom of crockpot. Pour in one jar of peppers with juice. Pour in about half the 2nd jar of peppers with juice, reserving the remainder for garnish. Sprinkle on 1-2 packets of Italian seasoning mix (depending on preference - I use both). Cover with beef broth until roast is covered. Cook on low approximately 6-8 hours. Shred meat when done and serve on hoagie buns with Swiss cheese, steak sauce and peppers.

Easy and delicious. We make it a lot for company because its a crowd pleaser and very easy, especially if I have worked all day.

This past week has been out of our norm. Justin was gone from Sat-Tues on a business trip. I hate being alone. I was alone for SO long when I was in law school, and now that I've gotten used to being home with him everyday it's like I forgot how to handle it. I spent a lot of time and nights at my parents. Oreo was very happy. He loves staying with them, and having Mom there too was like icing on the doggie cake.

Wednesday and Thursday night our sweet niece Sophie stayed with us while her parents had "mommy and daddy" time. We absolutely loved having her here with us. I was so glad she got to stay and that her momma and daddy got the chance to get away for a couple days. She was very good and so much fun. We went to bed the second night feeling so blessed to have a little one in our home and both felt this tug in our hearts for when we will have that feeling every night. I loved watching Sophie and Jay together. She would get so excited when he walked in the door. We also visited him at school and she ran from the car to the door to get to him. It seriously made my heart burst out of my chest. She is such a loving little girl. You can tell there is no shortage of love for her, because she so easily returns it to everyone.

Yesterday we finally broke down and traded in my baby. She had 171,000 miles on her and made 1000s of trips back and forth to St. Louis and never once let me down. She made half a dozen trips to Florida and back, a couple to Georgia, many trips to Cape, Memphis, Jefferson City and Columbia. However, it was time. The gas pedal just really didn't want to work anymore which was my sign. That, and paying at least $300 a month to the local garage to keep her running. So we are the proud owners of a gently used 2013 GMC Terrain. It's like driving a freaking Mercedes compared to what I did have! So far I'm very impressed.

I'm watching Justin work on my website now... Thank goodness he loves that stuff and can get my business going, because I would be in trouble if it were up to me!

It's Been Awhile

I know, I know. Bad blogger. Whatevs.

I've been quiet lately.... We are going through some life changes, some hills we expected, but nonetheless don't want, to climb. I am going to blog about our experiences I think and save them to draft. Then, when we have finally made it over the hill and can see the finish line, I can share. I have a deep need to talk to someone, or get out what I am feeling, because it is eating me from the inside out. But maybe if I just write it down - get it out - I will feel better? I don't really know. It is definitely not something life threatening or uber serious, but it is something that really breaks my heart and just puts a damper on my soul.

However, in the meantime, we have been busy. Justin celebrated his 29th birthday this past weekend. Friday was the actual day, and I made all of his favorite foods for dinner. It was a little crazy and did NOT go together, but he loved it! His parents came over to eat and then we just hung out on the couch that night.

Saturday we went to a hibachi place with Jay's twin brother D & his wife Casey and another couple friend of ours. We had a fun night and went to see Warm Bodies. Which, admittedly, I really liked. Sunday we went over to Jay's parents for lunch with his brother, wife and daughter. Then we all headed over to another couple friend's house for the Super Bowl.

Our niece Sophie had a blast playing with her friends Jack and Bryce, the guys hung out in the living room with the television and the ladies stayed in the kitchen gossiping. I so needed that girl time, and I loved watching the kiddos play. It was adorable and sweet. There is such a bittersweet feeling in situations like that for me. It is weird and I don't really like it, but what can you do? You can't help how you feel. I loved hearing Sophie's little voice hollar through for her Momma or her Baba to "come watch" and my heart just about burst watching her interact with "friends" and learning how to play. There is SO much love there. At the same time, I just kept thinking about how much I wanted that for us.... I know the time will come. It will. But the waiting game, it plain 'ole SUCKS. It sucks ass, quite frankly. Thankfully, we have such precious kids in our life to remind us how much we are loved as a Baba and Jay to fill much of the ache.

All we can do is pray and wait it out.... And if one more person tells me "oh it will happen in His time" or "well if it is mean to be.." I am gonna straight punch them in the freaking face and scream "OH sorry, that happened in His time - it was obviously meant to be."  And then laugh like a crazy hyena and run like the damn wind. It's true. Hahaha. I am laughing just picturing it..... I don't run. That's the joke there.

Christmas Time is Here

This is gonna be a picture dump of Christmas fun.

Our Christmas this year was super busy but as always, a lot of fun. I feel like Christmas gets so rushed though... We crammed in three activities on Christmas Eve, plus our church Communion service, and it was really too much. I was anxious all day and kept feeling like we had to leave one place to get to another without really enjoying the moment.

We started out Christmas Eve at my parents house to briefly celebrate my sweet, handsome baby brother's 24th birthday. Poor baby gets lost in the Christmas shuffle, but we always take a little time out for him to momentarily celebrate his special day.

The Birthday Boy!

After watching Zach open presents, we headed to Justin's Grandma's house. I did not get any pictures there - but it was loud, crowded and full of little ones ripping open the gifts. I told Justin I always feel a little out of place, though - we are the only ones there without kids (other than his younger sister - whose name is still in the "kids" Christmas drawing!) so when it is present time, we are like those to weirdos just hanging out creepin' on other people's children. Which is silly - because they are our family. I love watching our niece and little cousins as they excitedly open gifts. But it does leave an odd place in your heart when that is what you desire.

We left Justin's Grandmas and headed straight to our church to meet my family, plus Justin's sister and her boyfriend, for Christmas Eve communion. Then, we headed from there to my parents to celebrate with my immediate family.

My sister, her husband and my niece and nephew, plus their new puppy Sunshine "Sunny" Hahs along with my aunt and her friend. Time was crunched because we had to get back to Justin's family, but we had an enjoyable time. We played a white elephant game and the kids opened their gifts.

Ella's Santa Clause impersonation.

We then headed over to Justin's parents to do their side of Christmas, because his Dad and brother both had to work odd shifts on Christmas day. It was a tight squeeze with all of us and a mountain of presents, but it is always a fun time! Wouldn't have it any other way.  I scored some awesome clothes and some new Vera, so really - couldn't get much better for me.

The Bratton Tree

Chaos!

Taking a quick photo break.

Opening gifts.

Christmas morning, Justin and I woke up and had some time just the two (really three with Oreo) of us to open our gifts to one another.

The Poley Tree

Checking out his Santa gift.

Sparkle Toms!

Dress shirts. Oh yeah.

We then headed over to my parents. It is a family tradition for my Dad to cook up a huge and delicious breakfast Christmas morning. We ate ourselves silly then enjoyed opening gifts.

Tree & the loot.

13th Christmas together.

Just because he's so handsome.

Chloe & Zach

We spent the rest of the day laying around in our pajamas and visiting with both our families. It was definitely a wonderful Christmas holiday for the Poleys!

Wicked!

The Saturday before Christmas, Justin and I along with his twin brother and his wife went to the Fabulous Fox to see Wicked! It was AMAZING. Seriously. We had a really good time together.

We went to eat at Zia's on the Hill first, and the food was wonderful :)

With my lovely at Zias.

 

"I need my bangs pinned back to eat!"

After eating lunch, we headed to the Fox. The Fox Theater is a magical place in general. But it was breathtaking decorated for Christmas. There is something about walking in that almost makes me lose my breath for a split second. I LOVE the feeling.

Wicked, like I said earlier, was awesome. I wish we would have had better seats, but hey - beggars can't be choosers, people. The ones we had were fairly expensive! I couldn't get any pictures in the actual theater because CAMERAS AREN'T ALLOWED and the volunteers may lose their JOBS if they let you snap a photo.... But here are a couple outside!

By the pretty tree.

Outside the theater with my favorite people!

 It was such a good day and a great way to celebrate my brother & sister-in-law's SECOND wedding anniversary! I am still a little tiffed they had to go all willy-nilly and elope and get married without us (aka, the two most important people EVER ;-)) but I guess I will forgive them eventually. It's not like it was THEIR special day or anything and all about what they wanted!! At least they allow us to celebrate with them yearly. Hehe.

Day(s) Late & A Dollar Short

Ya'll! It's like I have fallen of the blog wagon. I was doing sooo good and life just got in the way :) I feel like I have so much that I have forgotten to blog about.

My 27th birthday was October 4th. It was a very great day! Actually, it was a great week. My darling of a husband sent me birthday WEEK flowers on that Monday. I am typically not a flower person, but they were such a great surprise!

  

The night before my birthday, or Birthday Eve, I walked back to the bedroom to find a couple of decorations :)

 

The morning of my birthday, I was treated to a new Vera Bradley! I seriously love my Vera :) I also had another special delivery at work that day from my hubby.

We ended up eating birthday dinner at my parents, and my Dad cooked my favorite meatloaf and my Momma cooked my favorite mashed potatoes and icebox cake. It was a wonderful day! We continued the celebrations onto Saturday, when we went for a massage and out shopping and to the winery. My family made me feel so loved and special - I am so blessed!

Love Them Anyway

Source: flickr.com via Claire on Pinterest

This means so many things to me right now. So, so many. My heart is just hurting for various reasons.... And I have always been the type of person to internalize everyone else's feelings so that they become mine. To feel like I am a failure if the people I love, help, care for don't succeed.

I do not have a lot of words today. I just have been dwelling on this thought. All we can do, especially as Christ-Followers, is to LOVE one another. Not love with an agenda, love only if you follow my rules, love when you sin the way I sin and not any other way - but pure, simple, love.

When something tragic happens to anyone close to you, it gives you perspective. Hindsight is 20/20. It also sucks. But it also makes you step back and take a look at what you have. The bottom line is, I have the love of my life. As long as I have that, I don't care what else as far as "material" things go. I am so happy and blessed right where I am, that all those little things I think I need/want - don't matter.

It also reminds you who in your life really does care about you and your loved ones. Who takes the time just to check in, if nothing else. To offer condolences or help. My family now is surrounded by so much love, that it makes my heart swell for those who are at their deepest hour of need. They know, without a doubt, they are loved. It also reminds you who in your life is too caught up in something else, whatever it is, for whatever reason, to stop and think, "Oh hey, they might need me today." But to those, what can you do - but love anyway?

Be thankful and grateful for who you have. Every single person. Love them.

Sadness

My heart is so heavy today. I am at a loss for words. I just don't understand.... How or why.

I am also mad. So mad that two children were left without a father. Left with no one to walk her down the aisle, cheer at the volleyball games, see the, graduate high school. Without a father to teach him how to date, throw a football, turkey hunt. A wife who is now without a partner. A wife who now has to be mom and dad all in one.

I'm mad at the people out there who have all of this and want to throw it away. Who just don't care enough to try when they have the chance. Who are too wrapped up in themselves to realize what's right there.

My heart breaks for everyone left behind to wonder what really happend. To question what went wrong. I'm just so, so sad....

Happy With Less

Source: piccsy.com via Claire on Pinterest

I have been struggling lately. Feeling unsettled. Like I should be striving for more. When in reality, I think I just need to be content. We are so unbelievably blessed. No doubts about it.

I think a lot of this stems from the stress of my job. I always feel like I am not doing enough. And honestly, I don't care for conflict. What a career I have picked, right?! So I go home at night and am still worrying about all the files piled up on my desk. Because to me, they aren't just files or clients. They are people. People who have trusted ME with their life, in a way.

Then there is this indescribable want, desire, need - to be parents. To have a baby. OUR baby. Made with our parts. The old fashioned way. Not with test tubes and needles and prodding and anesthesia.  I am trying SO hard to be patient. I am. But then I hear people complaining about having a child. Mad because they have to change their schedule to accommodate their baby. J & I would give ANYTHING to have the luxury of fighting over who gets to change a diaper or rock a newborn or play outside with a toddler in the sprinklers.  Or I see someone who has struggled for years - YEARS - and is finally blessed only to have it all taken away in a second. I read the news and see the story about a mother who beat her toddler with a skillet. And I want to scream. To the world, to anyone who is listening - I don't have that privilege! And it is a privilege. So be happy. Enjoy it. LOVE it.

I read a story last night about adoption. J & I have always said, from the beginning, that one day we would love to adopt a child or children. And then I have this worry. Not about our ability to love the child. Because I think anyone who knows us, who sees us interact with our nieces and nephew and little cousins, KNOWS that we have the ability to love a child that isn't our flesh in the same way as one who was. But would our family? Our friends? Would there be the contact comparing of one child who is biological to one who is not? The "oh SHE/HE acts/looks/sleeps/runs just like her/his daddy" to "oh, they adopted her/him?" I don't know.

Praise God, we have the ability to have biological children, or at least, we planned ahead for that. SO the good Lord willing, it will work one way or another.

But regardless, we are still happy. Content. We love our life just the two (or three, if you count Oreo) of us. We are happy with LESS than what others have.

And, we have so much MORE than some others too. Not in a materialistic way. Although we don't want for anything. We have a beautiful home, two working vehicles (I won't say nice, per say, but they get the job done!), good food on our table, stable and dependable jobs. Good health (PRAISE GOD!). We have a life full of love, laughter, friends. Family who is always, always there. I never go a single day without knowing that there are a handful of people who LOVE me to the ends of this Earth. So many don't have that.

So when I see someone who has the honor of being called Momma or Daddy and doesn't realize what an absolute blessing it is - I cringe. I go home and cry. I cry that this isn't fair.

But God. He has a plan. A wonderful, perfectly timed, plan.

For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 

Edited to Add: I don't live in a fantasy world that being a parent will be perfect. I know better. I know their will be times when we are tired, cranky, hungry, sleepy or just want a break.

Florida Sunshine

I realized last night I never shared pictures from our Florida trip! So I am going to share a few and try and remember the details :) This post is going to be all pictures & captions. Nothing too interesting - but I want to document it so we remember!

Relaxing on the beach. Love my pink 80's sunglasses!

Fishing off the rocks that created a little bay.

Perfect view.

Fishin'

Our resort.

Windblown on the dolphin cruise.

Sunset.

In-laws :)

Macey & Field

Party in the USA

I'm in a funk. It's been a rough week so far. Hopefully things improve. My anxiety is in over-drive tonight and my old friend stomach ulcer is churning away. It is obvious by the fact that I came in exhausted, but have sat down only to write this. I made a quick supper, have scrubbed the bathroom from top to bottom and am about to clean our bedroom and change the sheets. I'm thinking I may just have to break out the good 'ol benadryl tonight to get some rest.

I wanted to share some pictures from this weekend. I have been wanting to have a BBQ ALL summer long! We finally threw one together pretty last minute. I have to say, it turned out pretty fun! I only snapped a handful of pictures - but we had a great turnout. Both mine and Jay's families and some special friends. It was hotter than you-know-where and the mosquitoes were crazy - but believe me, we had a nice night! Casey, Dani and I didn't close up shop until around 1:00am. Sometimes you just need a little girl talk.

Yummy good! We had SO much!

Dustin telling some important story, I'm sure.

Dani & Casey. Typical!

My cousin & Mom

Last three standing.

There is nothing like a fun time with friends and family to lift your spirits!