Random Monday Thoughts

Not much substantive here. Just some thoughts.

This next month is going to be absolutely insane. INSANE I tell you. We've got so much going on at home. And work is redonk. I literally have 5 hearings on ONE morning coming up. Three of which will require some serious lawyering. Not that the others won't.... But they aren't contested.

I booked the very first family vacation for my side of the family today. First as in ever. The whole fam damily (um, that auto corrected to farm family first. Which may be closer. We are a freaking funny farm most of the time.) is headed to Destin, FL in August. So excited for my Mom and Dad! This was my baby bro's idea - I just executed the details.

We packed about 15 boxes thus far. What I have learned from this experience is the following:
1. I love dishes. Dishes of all kinds. But particularly anything Fiesta Ware.
2. I could throw some absolute baller parties with the amount of serving dishes we own.
3. When we registered for our wedding, I obviously thought we had a much larger ghost family living in our home, because I sure as hell wasn't registering for a normal sized one.
4. Bubble wrap does not go very far.
5. Packing is boring.

My hubs is addicted to the show Fringe. It scared me. I have a hard and fast rule - I only watch romances, comedies, or romantic comedies. Maybe a little drama thrown in. But nothing scary, freaky, sci-fi, spooky, creepy or stupid. I think Fringe is borderline freaky/creepy. It sure isn't romantic comedy.

I worked until 7:30 tonight. Came home and packed some dishes up (imagine that). If you looked in the cabinet you couldn't even really tell. But I packed 4 boxes.

I am obsessed with toast with cinnamon sugar butter, eggs in a forms, and oatmeal. For any meal. Not necessarily all together. Can be separate or two of the three. Although all three sounds pretty yummy.

Some times I wish I were a teacher if for nothing else, to have summers off.

It really infuriates me when people make snide comments and like to pretend they were joking or being sarcastic. Um, no. That's called being a witch. Guess what? It's rude. Go figure.

The allergies are making my eyes itch so bad. Hopefully the new glasses are in soon so I will be able to wear glasses instead of contacts and also be able to see.

The end. Happy Monday peeps!

Rainy Days

It has been raining for two days straight. Literally. It's affecting my mood y'all.

We have some pretty big changes on the horizon. It's exciting and scary all at the same time. Things we've been praying frequently and whole-heartedly for are all starting to come to fruition. It's amazing to see God's hands at work.

In the midst of all of this, I'm a little sad by the behaviors of some of those closest to us. What should be such a joyful time for us gets dampened by the negative Nancy attitudes of others. It's so silly to let that affect my happiness, but I wear my heart on my sleeve and always have.

I will never understand choosing to miss out, purposefully ignoring, consciously being hateful to your loved ones. Especially in a time of joy. But I know that bitterness and jealousy are pushing the behaviors. I also know that one day, those behaviors will be regretted. However, when is enough enough?

I am excited to share the changes as they happen... So much to be thankful for.

Until then, anyone have any boxes? ;-)

Making Marriage a Priority

I don't often blog about our marriage. At least nothing too serious or in-depth. I feel like it is sacred and something I shouldn't just put out there because it's not just about me. But a group of bloggers have been doing a weekly series on marriage and I felt called today to chime in.

Right now, I'm sure many could argue that it is easy to make our marriage a priority because we have no children. However, that does not mean that LIFE doesn't get in they way.

I work 40+ hours a week, full-time at my job plus I am now taking private practice clients as well. I also volunteer weekly with a Teen Outreach Program group. Justin is a teacher and coaches three sports. Right now he's thick into baseball season. That means this week alone he has four games, three of which are away. Plus practice. Plus trying to take care of a home, cook, clean and have a social life. So it would be very easy to push our "us time" to the side and not make it a priority.

But peeps, my marriage is my TOP priority behind my relationship and faith in my Lord and Savior. And let me say that when we are blessed with children, we have both already made the conscious decision that we will FIGHT with the devil to keep our marriage a top priority.


How do we do this? I make his likes and passions mine and vice versa - to an extent. Justin loves coaching. I enjoy watching him live out this passion. I try to make as many as his games as possible to show my support. I do anything I can for his team because they are MY team, too. I like to talk. Justin knows this (as does anyone else who is around me). We've recently started going for drives some evenings just enjoying nothing but the sound of our voices.

My husband comes first. Period. It is healthy and needed to have outside relationships and I have a wonderful collection of friends and family that I love hanging out with. But I make the choice that my husband (and our children one day soon) will always trump my to-do list. If we have had a crazy week and no time together, that means I try not to schedule anything but "us" time on the weekend. Does this always work? Heck no! But the point is - we both know that the other tries. It's obvious through our words and actions each day that we are working on making the other a priority.


We may have random date nights or date days. Sometimes we just run to the neighboring town for a quick dinner out. About once a month we will spend the day out shopping around and maybe hitting a movie. But what I make sure of is that my husband knows, without a doubt, that there is no one more important to me than him.

I'm sure some may say this is old fashioned. Some may say its unhealthy or ridiculous. Some may disagree. But I lay my head down each night and wake up each morning knowing that I have a partner in life who always tries to put our relationship at the top. Sure, we may fail some days. It's not always pretty and easy. I know that as we enter different seasons of life, we will have to adapt and change. But that's okay. We've got this.

Random Brain Dump

I think I may be in a little bit of a blogging funk. A lot is going on, but it is not all "stuff" I feel like blogging about yet.

We had a very nice Easter. We went to Church and then went over to Justin's Grandma Jo's. Our church had an Easter breakfast and Easter Egg hunt for all the children, but we chose to skip that part this year. I don't necessarily think it was purposeful, but I don't know if my heart would have  really been up to it. The service was very nice, however, and it was good to be there.  Justin's Grandma Jo always cooks up a plentiful meal, and it was soooo good! I ate so much! After eating, the "kids" had an egg hunt, and then the adults had one. I put kids in quotations because Justin hunted with them. Ha!

I feel like we have so many balls in the air that I may drop them all at any time. But such is life. There is so much going on. I am hoping for a low-key weekend of nice weather and some yard work.

I am also hoping, on a completely unrelated topic, that people realize how their attitude and sometimes selfishness can effect other people. It is like so many just live in their own little world, never thinking about how their actions and comments (or lack of) can really touch someone other than themselves. It's a little disturbing. I think that some people just lack an awareness. For example - saying about 500 times in ONE short amount of time "OH that's because I am a MOTHER" can really grate on my nerves. I get it. You are. I am not. Whatevs. Or how's about the experiment I am undertaking called "let's see how many times you make an attempt to talk to me without me making contact FIRST OR you needing something?" Yeah, that's going splendid. My hypothesis is correct. Rarely.

On a brighter note, every morning this week I have woken up early and done a devotional and read some scripture and prayed. This morning I also watched an episode of Joel Osteen that I had DVR'd. It makes such a difference. I just feel better and definitely more grounded in the Lord when I start my day off right. I promise. Despite the entire paragraph above of complaining. Have to get it out though :)

Here's to some sunshine and warmer weather!

Family Weekend

This was a weekend full of family. Saturday Justin, my mom and I drove to Cape to meet with my sister Miste and niece Ella. Ella's 10th birthday was Friday and she wanted to go shopping in St. Louis for her present. A little diva! She in particular wanted to go to the American Girl store because she had convinced my Mom, "Coy," to buy her bitty baby twins.

Ella managed to convince her Justin to go with her. To the American Girl store. Justin, who at this point says his beard is 1 1/2 reed lengths. She has how wrapped around that finger for sure. I had to giggle at the slight of a very manly man following her (and me) around the store pretending to be interested.

Having lunch with Abby Marie.

I can't even lie. I was so excited! I want to have a little girl just so I can relive American Girls. I had Molly when I was younger. She is a historical doll. And, from what I could remembered, the only one  who hasn't been retired that were original to my time. Haha. It was such an awesome store and no doubt a little girls dream.

Needless to say, Ella walked out with two bitty baby Asian girl twins, SIX bitty baby outfits, training pants for the babies, and hair accessories. She is one smart cookie bringing Baba, Justin AND Coy along.

Ella says this will be Baba and Jay's future.

Today, we went to Cape to church with Miste and Clay to see our sweet Sam as today was his Confirmation. I was so very proud of him. To see my baby boy openly profess his faith and publicly accept Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior was overwhelming. We just love him so much and he is turning into such a sweet spirited young man. Though according to his parents he is a typical teenager :) However, he knows that Baba and Justin will be there always and no matter what.

We are just so blessed to have these two wonderful children in our life and a great family to boot. This weekend was busy but full of love!

Sunday Sweet Potatoes

I had a baked sweet potato for supper. I'm obsEssed. It's so weird because I used to hate them. Then my mother-in-law called me one night after watching some show on the history channel that said sweet potatoes can cause multiples. I decided to give them a try and WHAM! Love them. I bought some Land-o-Lakes cinnamon sugar butter to put on mine tonight and it was heaven.

I also made Italian Crockpot Beef for tonight. It's the easiest and yummiest meal.

Ingredients:

Chuck roast (size depending on how many you feed - 2lb roast should serve approx 4)
2 jars peppercinni peppers OR mild pepper rings
2 packets Italian dressing seasoning
Beef broth (enough to cover roast)
Swiss cheese slices
Hoagie buns
Steak sauce

Directions:

Place chuck roast on bottom of crockpot. Pour in one jar of peppers with juice. Pour in about half the 2nd jar of peppers with juice, reserving the remainder for garnish. Sprinkle on 1-2 packets of Italian seasoning mix (depending on preference - I use both). Cover with beef broth until roast is covered. Cook on low approximately 6-8 hours. Shred meat when done and serve on hoagie buns with Swiss cheese, steak sauce and peppers.

Easy and delicious. We make it a lot for company because its a crowd pleaser and very easy, especially if I have worked all day.

This past week has been out of our norm. Justin was gone from Sat-Tues on a business trip. I hate being alone. I was alone for SO long when I was in law school, and now that I've gotten used to being home with him everyday it's like I forgot how to handle it. I spent a lot of time and nights at my parents. Oreo was very happy. He loves staying with them, and having Mom there too was like icing on the doggie cake.

Wednesday and Thursday night our sweet niece Sophie stayed with us while her parents had "mommy and daddy" time. We absolutely loved having her here with us. I was so glad she got to stay and that her momma and daddy got the chance to get away for a couple days. She was very good and so much fun. We went to bed the second night feeling so blessed to have a little one in our home and both felt this tug in our hearts for when we will have that feeling every night. I loved watching Sophie and Jay together. She would get so excited when he walked in the door. We also visited him at school and she ran from the car to the door to get to him. It seriously made my heart burst out of my chest. She is such a loving little girl. You can tell there is no shortage of love for her, because she so easily returns it to everyone.

Yesterday we finally broke down and traded in my baby. She had 171,000 miles on her and made 1000s of trips back and forth to St. Louis and never once let me down. She made half a dozen trips to Florida and back, a couple to Georgia, many trips to Cape, Memphis, Jefferson City and Columbia. However, it was time. The gas pedal just really didn't want to work anymore which was my sign. That, and paying at least $300 a month to the local garage to keep her running. So we are the proud owners of a gently used 2013 GMC Terrain. It's like driving a freaking Mercedes compared to what I did have! So far I'm very impressed.

I'm watching Justin work on my website now... Thank goodness he loves that stuff and can get my business going, because I would be in trouble if it were up to me!

It's Been Awhile

I know, I know. Bad blogger. Whatevs.

I've been quiet lately.... We are going through some life changes, some hills we expected, but nonetheless don't want, to climb. I am going to blog about our experiences I think and save them to draft. Then, when we have finally made it over the hill and can see the finish line, I can share. I have a deep need to talk to someone, or get out what I am feeling, because it is eating me from the inside out. But maybe if I just write it down - get it out - I will feel better? I don't really know. It is definitely not something life threatening or uber serious, but it is something that really breaks my heart and just puts a damper on my soul.

However, in the meantime, we have been busy. Justin celebrated his 29th birthday this past weekend. Friday was the actual day, and I made all of his favorite foods for dinner. It was a little crazy and did NOT go together, but he loved it! His parents came over to eat and then we just hung out on the couch that night.

Saturday we went to a hibachi place with Jay's twin brother D & his wife Casey and another couple friend of ours. We had a fun night and went to see Warm Bodies. Which, admittedly, I really liked. Sunday we went over to Jay's parents for lunch with his brother, wife and daughter. Then we all headed over to another couple friend's house for the Super Bowl.

Our niece Sophie had a blast playing with her friends Jack and Bryce, the guys hung out in the living room with the television and the ladies stayed in the kitchen gossiping. I so needed that girl time, and I loved watching the kiddos play. It was adorable and sweet. There is such a bittersweet feeling in situations like that for me. It is weird and I don't really like it, but what can you do? You can't help how you feel. I loved hearing Sophie's little voice hollar through for her Momma or her Baba to "come watch" and my heart just about burst watching her interact with "friends" and learning how to play. There is SO much love there. At the same time, I just kept thinking about how much I wanted that for us.... I know the time will come. It will. But the waiting game, it plain 'ole SUCKS. It sucks ass, quite frankly. Thankfully, we have such precious kids in our life to remind us how much we are loved as a Baba and Jay to fill much of the ache.

All we can do is pray and wait it out.... And if one more person tells me "oh it will happen in His time" or "well if it is mean to be.." I am gonna straight punch them in the freaking face and scream "OH sorry, that happened in His time - it was obviously meant to be."  And then laugh like a crazy hyena and run like the damn wind. It's true. Hahaha. I am laughing just picturing it..... I don't run. That's the joke there.

General Updates

The title of this makes me think of How I Met Your Mother and giggle. Anyone else get it?

Life has been hectic as of late. Work has been overwhelming, scary, sad and downright depressing. To the point that I go home and basically have a mental breakdown some nights. It's not healthy for me, that is for sure.

We still have not finished our Christmas shopping, so I am REALLY hoping we can get it done this weekend. Not that we have a lot left, but I just want that to be crossed off the list so that we can enjoy the few days off before Christmas.

I do LOVE having my Christmas decorations up. Every night, we basically eat and just relax in the glow of the tree and other decorations. There is something so warm and cozy about that.

This is what most of our nights have looked like here lately:

Life is sweet, don't ya think?

Total Recap!

Whoa! I have been so MIA here lately. Yikes. Work has been SO crazy. The holidays always bring out the very worst in people....

We participated in the Trunk-or-Treat in our community on Halloween night. We did this last year through our church as well. Justin & I are always the "ring-leaders" of this event. We dressed up as Shaggy and Velma - and of course, didn't get a single picture of ourselves.

The back of our "trunk"

Lots of candy!

This place was PACKED!! The lines were SO long, and most people ran out of candy early. I am not sure how to remedy this, but there needs to be a better solution.

Our little Minnie Mouse came by for some candy (and a few laughs with Uncle Jay) as well.

Too cute for words!

We have spent a lot of time trying to relax and just catch up. Justin is coaching a Little League basketball team, so a couple of evenings a week he has practice. His Grandma Poley passed away at the beginning of November, which was a very hard time. She was very sick and he/we spent a LOT of time at the hospital those last few days. We both missed almost a week of work.

That being said, this little guy sure does make our life happier:

We had such a nice Thanksgiving! Of course, did not get a single picture :) We started the day off at Justin's Grandma's (his Mom's mom) with all of his family. Lunch was delicious! Grandma Jo made fried cabbage especially for us. YUM! My Mom and Dad also prepared a big feast, and we went over there for dinner. We stayed and watched Christmas Vacation, which is our Thanksgiving Tradition.

We were up fairly bright and early on Black Friday, which is a shocker for us. LOL. Although we didn't go crazy, we did end up getting some really good deals and a large portion of our Christmas shopping done.

This past weekend, we laid around and put up a lot of our Christmas decorations. Pictures to come soon!

1st Anniversary Celebrations

Justin and I celebrated our ONE YEAR wedding anniversary on Monday, September 3rd. I cannot even begin to believe that it has been a year. We had a wonderful, wonderful weekend celebrating together.

But before I talk about that, I just have to say - you always hear that your first year of marriage is the hardest. Well, if that is the "hardest" it will ever be for us, then we are golden :) Yes, there were, and still are periods of adjustment. No matter how long you have been with someone OR how much you love them, living with them 24/7 has its own sets of challenges. But, we have come out at the end of this year stronger than ever.

On Monday, I kept thinking back. I remember our wedding day like it was yesterday. All the excitement and nervousness. Giddiness. Pure J-O-Y.

I remember waiting with my Dad to walk down the aisle, watching him fight back tears. How excited I was.

Taking the hand of Justin, praying together and FINALLY walking down the aisle as husband and wife.

I thought my heart would jump out of my chest!

My thoughts haven't changed either. Even after a year, I am excited to see him after a day of work. I still get butterflies when I know he is on his way home, or vice versa. I HATE being away from him, for any length of time. Yep, we are still "honeymooning" and I hope it never, ever changes.

That being said, this weekend was a wonderful reminder of how blessed we are.

We booked a room for Saturday night at the Westin St. Louis because my generous parents bought us tickets to see the Lion King at the Fox Theatre.

Our 'heavenly bed' at the Westin.

Yes, we broke into the mini bar :)

I need this shower at home, please.

And this bathtub. And entire bathroom.

Before heading to the Fox.

Fox Theatre

The LION KING!!!

The Lion King was absolutely amazing. I teared up a little from pure joy! I was amazed at the animals! We had such a fun time. Then we went to Jack-in-the-Box afterwards. Haha! I know that for most that sounds awful. But - St. Louis is our closest one. And seriously, there is nothing better than greasy fried food at midnight :)

Sunday we got up and went to the West County Mall & Galleria, then to Trader Joes. We slept in pretty late and ate breakfast at the hotel, then got ready and headed out. It was fun to be back around my old stomping grounds. Sunday night, we ended up going down to Laclede's Landing and eating at the Old Spaghetti Factory. I don't know that I would eat there often, but it was fun for a once in a while meal.

Before heading out to eat.

YUMMY Olive Tapenade!

Monday, we got to go to the St. Louis Cards game!! My sweet, awesome little brother SURPRISED us with tickets FIVE rows from the first base field line. It was so fun!! The game was great and the weather was perfect baseball weather.

Our view.

Finally, we headed home Monday evening to celebrate with cake and champagne :) We had a mini-wedding cake made for our anniversary and decided to just have that for supper. Worked for me!

Broke out the fine china!

I must say, don't know how we will top our first anniversary, but I am sure we will figure out a way!

PS - To reminisce about our wedding with me, go here, here, here , here, here, here!

Not Much Going On....

I am a bundle of nervous energy right now. We got a call yesterday that someone was interested and wanted to look at our house today! YAY! I have prayed that if this is the right person/family, that whatever God intends to happen HAPPENS. If it is meant to sell, it does without complications.

Regardless, our house is now spotless. LOL! Nothing like knowing someone is going to be critiquing your house with a fine tooth comb to get ya moving. Nothing out of place and you could eat off every surface. That will last about, oh - until tonight when we are home :) It is hard to live in a house that could be on display at any second.

So fingers crossed. We love our house, but we also know that it is time to move on. It has been a wonderful starter home, but we (I) need a little more privacy. So I guess we will see how it goes. If it doesn't work, then it wasn't in God's plan for us. Maybe next time.

In other news, not much going on. Just work and home. Justin is so busy with football, and doesn't get home until late in the evening most days. It will be like that until the end of October. I can't complain, though, because he really enjoys coaching (most of the time!).

I am looking forward to fall and all it brings. Hoping for some good news around the corner!

Yikes!

Man oh man, I am ALL over the place as of lately! My emotions feel like a roller coaster. It is driving me crazy.

This morning, I almost started crying TWICE out of no where. Like, felt the tears well up in my eyes and did the crazy blink to keep them back. I guess it is a good thing I am in the office along today :)

For one, I am exhausted. I have not been sleeping well at all. I have so much going on in my mind. I get like this about once or twice a year. Where I am so overwhelmed that I can't get anything accomplished. My mind never stops turning. I took two benadryl last night, which knocked me out, but also caused me to wake up with terrible medicine head. I was an hour late coming into work because I could NOT get myself moving.

I think allergies/sinus plays a part in it as well. Pretty standard around this time. I thought about going to my general family practitioner and asking for a complete physical. I have never really had one. I don't think my cholesterol or BP or anything like that is funky, but then again - it never hurts to get it all checked out. My doctor asked yesterday if I ever had anything checked like that.... Not so much. I hate needles and most of those tests require one. She is going to call me in a prescription vitamin though. She said it will help with the hormonal issues and also make sure I am getting the daily dose of a lot of different things. I am sure it will raise some eyebrows at the pharmacy because of the type of vitamin it is - which is the last thing I need :)

Sometimes I think I just need someone to vent to. Justin gets the brunt of it - but he probably would like a break! I don't need to vent about him. Honestly - I have never been the kind to need to complain about my husband. Granted, we don't always get along perfectly, but the little things just DO NOT matter. But I spend a lot of my time, both at work and otherwise, listening. I like that. Because I feel like it is something I am good at. I feel helpful and like I am contributing. But other times, I want to be able to talk and talk and have someone validate ME. Tell me it is going to work out, or whatever it is just plain sucks and they wish it were different. Just the little things.

I am looking forward to the weekend. This is Justin's last weekend of freedom before starting back to school and coaching. I cannot believe summer is coming to an end. It was a GREAT first summer of not being a student or studying for the bar!!

It's Been A While

Wow, it has been a long time. Life has been a little busy. Well, at least work has been. And life, well, it has just been moving forward.

I haven't really felt like blogging because I don't have much to say. Not much that is positive anyway. I don't want this to just be a forum for my complaining and whining all the time. I am sure you all (all 5 of you) get tired of that.

I think I may be a little depressed. Not to the point where I need to take medication or see a professional,  but just a little touch of the blues.

I am not sure why, really. Except I think I am. But I don't feel like talking about it. Or expressing it. Maybe it will all just go away.

However, what I do know is this: Regardless of how tired I am, or how blue I feel, I am blessed beyond measure. My God is awesome. And I am right where I need to be.

Nothing Interesting....

I am a little boring today. I've been in a sort of "limbo" most of this week.... But I think today ended that. I am looking forward to a couple of days off - this weekend will be a much needed little rest.

This has been a hectic week at work.... I have been feeling a little burnt-out and overworked. So I am taking a little break in new cases, trying to close out what I have, and just breathe.

Next week I have my mentor coming in from Jeff City for two days, and presenting a Pro Se Divorce & Custody class, and leaving Thursday for a three-day training. Granted, the training is at Lake of the Ozarks at the Four Seasons Lodge and Justin is going with me, so it will be like a mini-vacation!

My new healthier lifestyle is going well. I lost two more pounds this week! I would like to lose about twelve more, then see where my body naturally evens out. It has been a little bit of a struggle the last few days. I am fairly certain it is because I am an emotional eater - and boy, I have had some emotions going on.

I am tired today.... I need to work out. I did not go yesterday. But I just don't know if I have it in me. I will try to force myself to go at least for some cardio. I have been taking my Nook with me to read on the stationary bike, and it is a really good distraction! I rarely have the chance to read anymore, so that works out pretty well. Plus, I forget about how many minutes I have left ;-)

Maybe I will have something more inspired to write tomorrow? Doubt it.

Party in the USA

I'm in a funk. It's been a rough week so far. Hopefully things improve. My anxiety is in over-drive tonight and my old friend stomach ulcer is churning away. It is obvious by the fact that I came in exhausted, but have sat down only to write this. I made a quick supper, have scrubbed the bathroom from top to bottom and am about to clean our bedroom and change the sheets. I'm thinking I may just have to break out the good 'ol benadryl tonight to get some rest.

I wanted to share some pictures from this weekend. I have been wanting to have a BBQ ALL summer long! We finally threw one together pretty last minute. I have to say, it turned out pretty fun! I only snapped a handful of pictures - but we had a great turnout. Both mine and Jay's families and some special friends. It was hotter than you-know-where and the mosquitoes were crazy - but believe me, we had a nice night! Casey, Dani and I didn't close up shop until around 1:00am. Sometimes you just need a little girl talk.

Yummy good! We had SO much!

Dustin telling some important story, I'm sure.

Dani & Casey. Typical!

My cousin & Mom

Last three standing.

There is nothing like a fun time with friends and family to lift your spirits!

Small People

Source: unhappy-birthday.tumblr.com via Claire on Pinterest

Yes.

I've been struggling lately with people in my life who I feel enjoy making other feel small, belittled or insignificant. It really is an ugly feeling.

Maybe I wear my heart on my sleeve, but there comes a point where the "joking" isn't a joke anymore and it sure is not funny. Bitterness and jealousy are two of the ugliest emotions a person can have. Especially when that person picks one or two people in which to really cast those on.

Being the person that is picked sucks. I will never be able to change this, either. So I think the best way to handle the situation is through distance. Not all the time, but when I am really feeling that someone is doing their best to belittle me.

Being undermined, poked fun at and generally criticized can take a toll on someone's emotional health. Then, you add in the 'mama bear' in me - and I don't even have children! But someone decides to belittle or undermine the person/people I love most - and that is trouble. I will take it for a long time (obviously) but you start messing with my people, and I am DONE.

I especially have issues when someone makes it so obvious they are choosing who to undermine and belittle - and then so obviously chose another to use as their "shield" and excuse for doing so.  That, to me, is mean and spiteful. Despite what some may believe or chose to believe, I have a lot to offer sometimes. Just because I have yet to give you exactly what you have decided makes someone worthy or of value, doesn't mean I am NOT worthy and of value.

There is just no need to be so jealous, angry and bitter that the only way you can find your "happiness" is to make others be unhappy. Plain and simple. So I pray that I am never that person. I pray that I can always look past my struggles, insecurities and own jealousies and instead be the person that makes someone believe they are great.

I just see too much of this. Too many people surrounding themselves with others who make them feel small, ugly, unworthy. And I want to change this! So maybe I just need to start and look within myself. Don't get me wrong - I have a very awesome, EXTREMELY BLESSED, life. I am in awe of what Jesus is doing for me every. single. day. But I am also human - and I have moments where I just let others get the best of me. This is unhealthy behavior. So today, I am going to start changing that! Hopefully, if I start making a conscious effort to make others feel the greatness that they truly are, it will come back around!

Little Details

Guys. I am in such a funk. It's not pretty. I don't really know what to do about it, either. For one, I am SO stinking tired. I have been getting up at 6:00am and working out most mornings, and it is exhausting me! I thought working out was supposed to make you feel better. I am still waiting for that high to kick in. However, I am not giving in. I know that if I just keep making myself get up and go to the gym, I will eventually see results.

I think I need adult nap time. I try sometimes to take a nap on my lunch hour, but let's face it - I rarely get a true lunch hour when I can leave and not have a million other things that need to be done. Yesterday I had to run to the grocery store. The day before, I had to run to the Dollar Store. Add to that, I can never quite get out of work when I am supposed to, and I end up running out of time because I have an appointment/court scheduled.

In other news, this past weekend I was invited for the first time to my husband's family annual "girls weekend." Twelve of us drove up to Alton, IL for a haunted ghost tour. Unfortunately, no ghosts showed up so it was really a 4 hour bus ride around the town. But whatevs. We went to a bar & grill afterwards, and everyone got a little tipsy. Let me just say, I never realized how funny some of my in-law family was. I think I almost peed myself laughing more than once.

We also stopped (going there and coming home) at a little town called Kimmswick. I am officially obsessed. We ate at the Blue Owl, which has the most amazing array of dessert ever, on Saturday. On Sunday, we had more time to look around the little shops. I snagged FOUR new garden flags (my new obsession) and some other random trinkets. We ate lunch Sunday at The Dough Depot, which had the best pretzel rolls I have ever tasted.

It was such a fun & funny weekend. I have not laughed that hard in a very long time! I can't wait for the next trip, although I vote that we don't ghost hunt on a Greyhound bus. I think the ghosts figured out we were coming. Ha!

Weekend Recap

We had a fairly nice and relaxing weekend, I must say. Saturday morning, we got up bright and early to be in Cape by 9:00am for a massage. This is "our" thing. We schedule a couples massage about once a month (give or take) and I have budgted it in to our finances. It is worth every single penny. We look forward to it. It gives us a chance to relax and take some needed time away together. I highly recommend it to couples! I hope we can continue it even when we have little ones to worry about.

After our massages, we walked downtown because there was a Farmer's Market going on. We didn't buy anything, but enjoyed walked through the booths. If you live in Cape, I would definitely encourage you to get up early one Saturday morning and hit up the market! Looked like there were lots of neat options, especially if you were there earlier. We also had to stop by the mall and Target (of course) and grab some lunch before heading back home.

Saturday evening, we drove to Holcomb and met our newly wed friends Kelly & Taylor at Strawberry's. It was such an enjoyable and fun evening to catch up with them!

Sunday morning, we got up and went to church. I love our little church. It is so warm and friendly. It just feels like home. However, Sunday for some reason - everything just was weighing on me and I started crying and couldn't stop! Usually we stick around and chat after church (both our parents/families attend), but I looked and Justin and said "I need to get out of here - quick!" Thankfully he didn't ask any questions and we made a beeline for the door. I just could not speak without boo-hooing! Once we got in the car and headed home, the crying stopped as quickly as it had started. I am not sure what was going on, but the waterworks needed out, I guess.

Sunday evening we had the absolute pleasure of keeping our darling niece, Sophie! Her mom had to be at a very early appointment on Monday morning, so she stayed the night with us. Since Justin is a teacher and has the summer off, he kept Sophie during the day :) He did have to go to football practice for a little while, so Sophie came up to my office and hung out before I took my lunch.

She had a very good time, dumping her cheerios out on my rug, coloring, and watching "Bu Cu" (Blue's Clues) at my desk!

Justin kept her the rest of the afternoon, and they swam in the little kiddie pool we bought. Well, Sophie swam, Justin watched. When I got home she was having a BLAST and did not want to get out. Until we told her she could go see her Momma - then she was ready to put on dry clothes and get in the car.

We are so blessed to have two beautiful nieces and a very handsome nephew in our life to spoil and love. It sure does help make my heart smile, even when I feel like crying!

Back on the Wagon

I am going to veer from my normal blog material. I am by NO means writing a healthy eating/living blog. I mean, most of my meals are centered around dessert. But, after feeling bad about my body image for the last few weeks, on top of being miserable in my pants, I have decided to change things up. Again. :)

I actually GOT UP AT 6:00AM to work out! This is a freaking miracle people. I don't do mornings. I don't do working out. And to combine the two.... Wowza. It helped that J decided to get up and go with me. Granted - he can come back home and nap :) But I needed the moral support to get my lazy hind-end out of bed. I got about 45 minutes of work-out time in. Started with a walk/jog interval on the treadmill, did some crunches on the balance ball, and worked my thighs and arm flab. I just want to feel good about myself - so I know this will help.

Also, we have started "meal planning" each of our main meals during the week. On Saturday, I went through a list of some recipes - new and old. Actually, for a wedding gift, we got a subscription to E-Meals. It is a meal planning service that gives you 5-7 meals per week AND a grocery list. We used this as our base. But, some of the meals we just won't ever like - so I substitute in. We also have a subscription to Cooking Light which I love. And I own about 500 cookbooks :) So between all the resources, we came up with a pretty healthy, summer inspired menu for the next seven days!

The recipe we made last night was AWESOME! So awesome, that I am going to include it below. I am not going to give exact measurements, ect - because I don't know them. I am the type to use a recipe (unless I am baking) as a "guide" and just kind of go with the flow. I even took pictures to share :-)

Warm Chicken Salad with Grilled Onions

(adapted from E-Meals.com)

Ingredients:  (Serves 2)

• 1 large chicken breast, filleted and pounded or 2 small pounded to uniform thickness
• 1 1/2 cups olive oil/vinegar salad dressing (we used a Greek inspired)
• 1/2 cup cherry tomatoes/ halved
• 1 medium purple onion, sliced thickly (do NOT separate rings)
• 1/2 cucumber, diced
• romaine lettuce

Directions:

1.  Marinate the chicken breasts in 1/2-1 cup salad dressing (enough to cover) for 2 hours in fridge
2. Chop cucumber and tomatoes, marinate in 1/2 cup salad dressing for 2 hours in fridge
3. Grill chicken breasts after marinating until done
4. Spray onion rings lightly with cooking spray (we used olive oil base) and grill until tender
5. Chop romaine lettuce and place on plate; top with sliced chicken breast, tomato/cucumber mixture and grilled onions
6. Drizzle with remaining salad dressing if needed

We served ours with grilled corn-on-the-cob and fresh, grilled asparagus. For the asparagus, we used our Armatele grill pan and lightly coated the asparagus with olive oil, salt and pepper.

This meal was outstanding. It will definitely be making a rotation in our weekly line-up. You could do all types of variations on this too. Just marinate the chicken/protein in a different flavor and add grilled veggies to fit the "theme."

I also lucked out to some spiffy dessert. Strawberries were on sale for $0.99 a container (bushel? peck? pound?), so I stocked up on three. Along with some light cool-whip and the tiny, round pound cakes. J kept telling me that when I wanted dessert, to let him know because he wanted to fix it. Here is what he brought me:

Oh yeah! I am a lucky girl!

Oh - we do all of our grocery shopping at Aldi's. For this week - which included seven nightly meals, plus stuff for breakfast and lunch, and all produce was fresh, our grocery total was about $100. Not bad at all. I also had to grab a few pantry staples that won't be on the list next week - so this is on the higher end. But, I don't consider this figure to be high for two people, with ALL fruits/veggies fresh. Nothing was canned or processed when it came to produce or meats.

Hopefully I will get the vacation photos uploaded soon - I haven't even looked at them!

Pomp & Circumstance

So, I finally pulled myself off the couch and uploaded pictures from this weekend onto the computer so I could blog. I apparently have every "itis" disease you could possibly catch at one time. Major fail immune system. I am not quite sure HOW that happened considering I am taking every fricking vitamin under the sun.

Anyway, on Saturday my baby brother graduated from college. This was a big day for everyone! I know my parents are very relieved (and proud, of course! but relieved) to have their last child out of school. My mom said on our way there, her and my dad have had a child in school for 30 years. That's a hella long time.

He graduated from a small liberal arts college in Fulton, MO. Val Kilmer (otherwise known as Doc Holiday from Tombstone and BATMAN) was the guest speaker. He did a really good job!

I am so proud of Zach. He's grown into such a kind, gentle hearted, sweet spirited, crazy young man. I can't wait to see where life takes him. I can't wait to see him marry a wonderful girl (she's gotta be out there somewhere!) and have a family full of little kids. I can't wait to see him be an Uncle to my children, because he will be the best.

If this picture says anything, it is the quintessential explanation of Zach's personality:

We also had to take a few family portraits:

After the ceremony, we suprised Zach with a sweet cake. He is petrified of clowns, and Justin & I just couldn't control ourselves.....

We went into Jefferson City to eat lunch, and then headed on to the outlets in Osage Beach. Both my momma and my husband indulged me in some retail therapy.

I snagged this awesome swimsuit for our upcoming beach vacation for WAY under retail value:

Source: usa.tommy.com via Claire on Pinterest

Score! Now, back to the couch before I get in trouble from my hubby. He's taking AWESOME care of me. I kinda want to stretch this out... Except I feel like poop. That part sucks.