I am really struggling with this. I have to be honest here. Like, really REALLY struggling. I don't want to be a debbie downer. But I guess sometimes, these things just happen.
While I am very happy in my life, there are a few different areas that I keep wanting to move forward. Just human nature to always push ahead... Then I get caught up in life. While I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, sometimes it's impossible not to.
I have heard more than my fair of stories lately of people getting pregnant on accident, or being devastated to be pregnant even when they are in a happy, committed relationship. Then I get mad. I want to say it is bullcrap and not fair. Why is it SO easy for some and not for others? It makes no sense to me.
Or, I say outwardly that I know our house will sell when it's the right timing. When it is in His plan. Yet, when we don't get a phone call back after a showing - I am so frustrated and disappointed. I mean, I woke up last night in a panic convinced someone was trying to burgle me. Pretty sure that wasn't happening, but I need to be somewhere where I feel at peace.....
But then I say, I have FAITH. I believe that God will bless us when it is our turn. I say it. I truly believe it. I just want it when I want it. That is not how God works. I know He is teaching me patience. He truly is. Because patience is not something I have ever been too great at.
I can't really explain it. I look around at the world and see all of the people out there who look like whatever they want is handed to them, no questions ask. Then I think about how I bust my hind-end and so does my husband. We get up and go to work every day. Have worked our entire lives. Try to live by God's word and do His will.
I guess, though, I just need to remember this. Because my faith isn't going to change whether what I want happens NOW or two days from now or two months from now. My God is always there.
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