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Wife, doggy-mother, Jesus follower, CANCER FIGHTER! Just enjoying each day as it comes and remembering what is really important - family and GOD.

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Tuesday, February 5, 2013

It's Been Awhile

I know, I know. Bad blogger. Whatevs.

I've been quiet lately.... We are going through some life changes, some hills we expected, but nonetheless don't want, to climb. I am going to blog about our experiences I think and save them to draft. Then, when we have finally made it over the hill and can see the finish line, I can share. I have a deep need to talk to someone, or get out what I am feeling, because it is eating me from the inside out. But maybe if I just write it down - get it out - I will feel better? I don't really know. It is definitely not something life threatening or uber serious, but it is something that really breaks my heart and just puts a damper on my soul.

However, in the meantime, we have been busy. Justin celebrated his 29th birthday this past weekend. Friday was the actual day, and I made all of his favorite foods for dinner. It was a little crazy and did NOT go together, but he loved it! His parents came over to eat and then we just hung out on the couch that night.

Saturday we went to a hibachi place with Jay's twin brother D & his wife Casey and another couple friend of ours. We had a fun night and went to see Warm Bodies. Which, admittedly, I really liked. Sunday we went over to Jay's parents for lunch with his brother, wife and daughter. Then we all headed over to another couple friend's house for the Super Bowl.

Our niece Sophie had a blast playing with her friends Jack and Bryce, the guys hung out in the living room with the television and the ladies stayed in the kitchen gossiping. I so needed that girl time, and I loved watching the kiddos play. It was adorable and sweet. There is such a bittersweet feeling in situations like that for me. It is weird and I don't really like it, but what can you do? You can't help how you feel. I loved hearing Sophie's little voice hollar through for her Momma or her Baba to "come watch" and my heart just about burst watching her interact with "friends" and learning how to play. There is SO much love there. At the same time, I just kept thinking about how much I wanted that for us.... I know the time will come. It will. But the waiting game, it plain 'ole SUCKS. It sucks ass, quite frankly. Thankfully, we have such precious kids in our life to remind us how much we are loved as a Baba and Jay to fill much of the ache.

All we can do is pray and wait it out.... And if one more person tells me "oh it will happen in His time" or "well if it is mean to be.." I am gonna straight punch them in the freaking face and scream "OH sorry, that happened in His time - it was obviously meant to be."  And then laugh like a crazy hyena and run like the damn wind. It's true. Hahaha. I am laughing just picturing it..... I don't run. That's the joke there.

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