Ho Ho Ho!

Wanted to drop in and say I hope each of you had a very merry Christmas! It has been a wonderful, very busy but very happy two days for us. I hope to post a recap soon - but we are getting prepared for this BLIZZARD that is supposed to hit anytime :)

General Updates

The title of this makes me think of How I Met Your Mother and giggle. Anyone else get it?

Life has been hectic as of late. Work has been overwhelming, scary, sad and downright depressing. To the point that I go home and basically have a mental breakdown some nights. It's not healthy for me, that is for sure.

We still have not finished our Christmas shopping, so I am REALLY hoping we can get it done this weekend. Not that we have a lot left, but I just want that to be crossed off the list so that we can enjoy the few days off before Christmas.

I do LOVE having my Christmas decorations up. Every night, we basically eat and just relax in the glow of the tree and other decorations. There is something so warm and cozy about that.

This is what most of our nights have looked like here lately:

Life is sweet, don't ya think?

Thoughtful Tuesday.... Gratitude

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Piglet is so smart :)

30 Things: Day 25

If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?

I would LOVE to be able to sit down and have a meal with past Presidents. Probably more so those in the last 20 years - George Sr. & Jr., Bill Clinton, and of course, Barack Obama.

I find the entire presidency so fascinating. I don't even know that I would want to delve into the deep stuff. But I would just love to have their inside, personal view on what it was like to run the most powerful country in the world, at the turn of the century.

I don't care what we eat. I have never turned down food. But seriously, I would want to be at the White House with the personal chef. What he serves is up to him....

Or maybe at Disney World. With all the characters in attendance as well. That'd be a party for sure!

SUYL: Appetizers

Linking up with Kelly's Korner Show Us Your Life: Appetizers today!

Confession: we eat appetizers A LOT. Like, sometimes (and by sometimes I mean weekly) we have entire meals of nothing but appetizers! I don't know what it is.... But it makes me happy, happy, happy.

One of our recent favorites could not be MORE simple!  

Chipolte Raspberry Cream Cheese Appetizer

This D.L. Jardine's Buckin' Berry sauce is UH-MAZING. It's a raspberry chipolte sauce and I could seriously drink it. All we do is take a block of cream cheese (I use the 1/3 less fat because it seems to soften & spread better), let it sit out to soften up, then pour some of this sauce over the top and serve with crackers. We may or may not eat the ENTIRE block of cream cheese in one sitting.....


I also make little cocktail weenies in the crockpot all the time. I will add two packages of cocktail weenies, a jar of chilli sauce, and about half a jar of apricot preserves and let it cook on low for a few hours. Yummy!

We also make a pretty delicious Cream Cheese Crab Dip that is super easy! (Um, we obviously have a love of cream cheese in these parts...)

You need:

• 1 block cream cheese
• 2 cans lump crab meat
• 1 jar chilli sauce

We take a large oval serving platter and spread the cream cheese out over it in a uniform fashion. I drain the crab meat, and also make sure to squeeze out all excess water with a paper towel. On top of the cream cheese, spread a think layer of chilli sauce. Sprinkle crab meat on top. Serve with crackers. Sounds so weird, but my oh my - it is GOOD!

Hope ya'll enjoy these as much as I do!

Thoughtful Tuesday.... Can we choose who we love?

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I was searching for a quote or saying or verse that had recently touched me. Trying to come up with some amazing Thoughtful Tuesday piece since I have been noticeably absent. Then I came across the link to Dan Pearce over at Single Dad Laughing and this post he published today entitled Anything Other Than Straight.

What he says touched me to the core. His words are prolific. His thoughts - so honest and raw.

I have always held a firm belief that we, as humans, as Christians - don't always have a choice in WHO we love. It happens.... In my work, I see it all the time. How someone can be abused, degraded, berated yet still come in and sit down and tell me, with tears streaming down their face, "But, I love him."

I am in NO way, shape or form comparing being gay to being abused. But what I am saying, is that sometimes, our hearts have ways our minds don't understand.

I do not think being gay is a choice, any more than I had a choice as to what color eyes I was born with.

Please, read his post. Understand what he is saying, begging from the rest of "us" in this world.

Total Recap!

Whoa! I have been so MIA here lately. Yikes. Work has been SO crazy. The holidays always bring out the very worst in people....

We participated in the Trunk-or-Treat in our community on Halloween night. We did this last year through our church as well. Justin & I are always the "ring-leaders" of this event. We dressed up as Shaggy and Velma - and of course, didn't get a single picture of ourselves.

The back of our "trunk"

Lots of candy!

This place was PACKED!! The lines were SO long, and most people ran out of candy early. I am not sure how to remedy this, but there needs to be a better solution.

Our little Minnie Mouse came by for some candy (and a few laughs with Uncle Jay) as well.

Too cute for words!

We have spent a lot of time trying to relax and just catch up. Justin is coaching a Little League basketball team, so a couple of evenings a week he has practice. His Grandma Poley passed away at the beginning of November, which was a very hard time. She was very sick and he/we spent a LOT of time at the hospital those last few days. We both missed almost a week of work.

That being said, this little guy sure does make our life happier:

We had such a nice Thanksgiving! Of course, did not get a single picture :) We started the day off at Justin's Grandma's (his Mom's mom) with all of his family. Lunch was delicious! Grandma Jo made fried cabbage especially for us. YUM! My Mom and Dad also prepared a big feast, and we went over there for dinner. We stayed and watched Christmas Vacation, which is our Thanksgiving Tradition.

We were up fairly bright and early on Black Friday, which is a shocker for us. LOL. Although we didn't go crazy, we did end up getting some really good deals and a large portion of our Christmas shopping done.

This past weekend, we laid around and put up a lot of our Christmas decorations. Pictures to come soon!

THE PERFECT VICTIM

THE PERFECT VICTIM: Watch Trailer

While in law school, I had the opportunity to work on the Clemency Project to help battered women who were in prison for killing their husbands before their husbands killed them.

I will never be able to adequately express what I learned from this work. I will say it has highly influenced the path I have chosen in my career now.

Please watch the trailer to this video - and feel free to ask any questions you may have.

SUYL: Favorite Desserts

Here is the honest truth: I can't pick a favorite dessert because I LOVE ALL DESSERTS. I am an equal-opportunity dessert lover. There have been many times when I have asked Justin to take me for dessert FIRST before going to eat, just so I know I have room for it :) I never (rarely ever, anyway) turn down a good dessert.

That being said, I have a few that are always favorites.

One of those is commonly known as Better than Sex Cake. Let me tell you, it's flipping awesome. Don't know that I'd go that far, because I usually refer to it as Heath Bar or Icebox Cake.

Source: centercutcook.com via Claire on Pinterest

It is super easy to make,  and you can find a recipe here. You can change things up and use caramel or chocolate sauce, and any type of crushed candy bar. My mom uses Skor bars sometimes with chocolate sauce to give it a different feel. Anyway you make it, though - it won't last long!

I am always looking for new cake and cupcake recipes. Most of my best though, come from a box and just adding a little bit here and there!  I think you can never have too much dessert :)

 

Day(s) Late & A Dollar Short

Ya'll! It's like I have fallen of the blog wagon. I was doing sooo good and life just got in the way :) I feel like I have so much that I have forgotten to blog about.

My 27th birthday was October 4th. It was a very great day! Actually, it was a great week. My darling of a husband sent me birthday WEEK flowers on that Monday. I am typically not a flower person, but they were such a great surprise!

  

The night before my birthday, or Birthday Eve, I walked back to the bedroom to find a couple of decorations :)

 

The morning of my birthday, I was treated to a new Vera Bradley! I seriously love my Vera :) I also had another special delivery at work that day from my hubby.

We ended up eating birthday dinner at my parents, and my Dad cooked my favorite meatloaf and my Momma cooked my favorite mashed potatoes and icebox cake. It was a wonderful day! We continued the celebrations onto Saturday, when we went for a massage and out shopping and to the winery. My family made me feel so loved and special - I am so blessed!

SUYL... Favorite Charities

Today I am linking up with Kelly's Korner for Show Us Your Life: Favorite Charities.

One charity is near and dear to my heart - The American Cancer Society.

I posted a little here about how Justin and I were named as Heros of Hope for the 2013 year, to represent the American Cancer Society, and more specifically, their event Relay For Life, around the Eastern Missouri region.

The American Cancer Society is the official sponsor of birthdays. Taken directly from their website:

The American Cancer Society combines an unyielding passion with nearly a century of experience to save lives and end suffering from cancer. As a global grassroots force of more than three million volunteers, we fight for every birthday threatened by every cancer in every community. We save lives by helping people stay well by preventing cancer or finding it early; helping people get well by being there for them during and after a cancer diagnosis; by finding cures through investment in groundbreaking discovery; and by fighting back by rallying lawmakers to pass laws to defeat cancer and by rallying communities worldwide to join the fight. As the nation's largest non-governmental investor in cancer research, contributing more than $3.5 billion, we turn what we know about cancer into what we do. To learn more about us or to get help, call us anytime, day or night, at 1-800-227-2345 or visit cancer.org.

I have been involved in their signature fundraising event, Relay For Life, since I was in high school. I had no idea that God planted me their for a reason...  I went on to serve on the committee and eventually co-chair our event at Saint Louis University, and serve on the Eastern Missouri Regional Council. Now I am a Hero of Hope and Co-Chair of our local event. Obviously, I am passionate about this cause.

When Justin was diagnosed with cancer, I was terrified. However, the ACS website - www.cancer.org - was an amazing tool for me. I researched and learned everything I could. I printed of lists of questions to ask every doctor. I learned about treatments, survival rates, and that his cancer is CURABLE 95% of the time (even greater since he was diagnosed so early). They provided Justin with a gas card, since we had to travel sometimes 90 miles round trip 5 times a week for treatment. The American Cancer Society was a beacon of light for us.

Unfortunately, almost everyone knows someone who is facing cancer. 1 in 2 men and 1 in 3 women will now be diagnosed in our lifetime. We have to FIGHT until we find a cure!!

For more information on a Relay For Life event in your neighborhood, visit www.relayforlife.org.

Thoughtful Tuesday... Comparison

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This is always something I think ANY human struggles with. It stems from way back to Adam & Eve.... Worrying, thinking too much about everyone else and not enough about you and your own personal salvation and relationship with God.

This Sunday, our pastor spoke on this to some extent. The gist of the message was that when we leave this Earth, what will we be remembered by? It won't be for our worldly possessions, vehicles, homes, JOBS. It will be for what we have done for others in the light of Jesus.

Always comparing ourselves to others is a way in which we tend to focus on the worldly possessions instead of our walk in faith. And I am guilty of this at times. In fact, just yesterday ON MY WAY TO CHURCH I was lamenting to my husband about how frustrated I sometimes get when life is so much "easier" for others who don't even appreciate it.

It is hard not to get caught up in comparing what we have to what others have. I especially have difficulty when I see others who don't appreciate the blessings in their life. Instead, they would rather complain about everyday, mundane details when the "stupid things" they are complaining about are the same things I pray for daily.

Whatcha gonna do, though? I don't want to live a life of misery. So I am working, each day, not to let ANYTHING steal my joy!

Presidential Proclamation -- National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, 2012 | The White House

Presidential Proclamation -- National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, 2012 | The White House

As someone who fights every day for the voice of victims, I urge you to read this and stop to think.... Domestic violence is next door to you. It's the lady in the grocery store who never looks up, the small child who hides behind the couch.

Be a voice for those who don't have one.

HOPE Big!

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11.

 I cannot even put into words what a wonderful whirlwind of a weekend this was! Justin and I were given the TREMENDOUS honor of being named 2012 Heros of Hope for the American Cancer Society High Plains Division. Taken from the American Cancer Society, "The High Plains Relay For Life Heroes of Hope and their Profiles of Courage symbolize the courageous struggle of all cancer patients and caregivers as they deal with the physical and emotional aspects of their cancer journey. Through their stories, Heroes of Hope help to create more birthdays as they fight back against cancer in communities across the High Plains Division."

What an amazing blessing this is. We had the privilege of attending the High Plains Relay For Life Summit this past weekend in Dallas, TX with approximately 900 others who share the same passion, spirit and fight to find a CURE for cancer! Within this, we had our "official" training as Heros of Hope and met our Hero family.

As a Hero of Hope, we will have the honor of traveling around the state and speaking to various groups, clubs and Relay For Life events to share story of hope and encouragement.

I know that this is part of God's plan for us. That He is using our story, our voices, to share His word. Someone out there needs to hear our testimony. Even if it is just ONE person whose eyes and heart are opened up to our Lord and Savior, we have done our job.

As we embark on this year to come, I am SO excited at the opportunities ahead of us. How many people can say they have the chance to travel and speak for a world-wide organization to share their love for Jesus and FIGHT CANCER?! Not many!

Hopefully, we have many moments of joy and laughter to come. If you are interested in having us speak at engagement where we can share our personal fight against cancer, give us a call!

Thoughtful Tuesday.... On Waiting

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Ahh, yes. I really need to take this to heart. It's our human nature to want, want, want RIGHT NOW. I know that. But I am really trying to change the way I pray, so that while I express my wants, needs and desires to God - I also lay them at His feet, and say "I will wait, God. I am happy and content where You have me. I will bloom where I am planted until You decide otherwise."

It is a struggle. There are a handful of "big" issues that we have been praying for as a family. But, I have faith, and I believe - our time is coming. I just need to trust God when His answer is "not right now, my child - but soon" instead of "here ya go."

What a happier world we would all live in, if we just had patience for what we believe will happen.

Thoughtful Tuesday... Faith

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I am really struggling with this. I have to be honest here. Like, really REALLY struggling. I don't want to be a debbie downer. But I guess sometimes, these things just happen.

While I am very happy in my life, there are a few different areas that I keep wanting to move forward. Just human nature to always push ahead... Then I get caught up in life. While I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, sometimes it's impossible not to.

I have heard more than my fair of stories lately of people getting pregnant on accident, or being devastated to be pregnant even when they are in a happy, committed relationship. Then I get mad. I want to say it is bullcrap and not fair. Why is it SO easy for some and not for others? It makes no sense to me.

Or, I say outwardly that I know our house will sell when it's the right timing. When it is in His plan. Yet, when we don't get a phone call back after a showing - I am so frustrated and disappointed. I mean, I woke up last night in a panic convinced someone was trying to burgle me. Pretty sure that wasn't happening, but I need to be somewhere where I feel at peace.....

But then I say, I have FAITH. I believe that God will bless us when it is our turn. I say it. I truly believe it. I just want it when I want it. That is not how God works. I know He is teaching me patience. He truly is. Because patience is not something I have ever been too great at.

I can't really explain it. I look around at the world and see all of the people out there who look like whatever they want is handed to them, no questions ask. Then I think about how I bust my hind-end and so does my husband. We get up and go to work every day. Have worked our entire lives. Try to live by God's word and do His will.

I guess, though, I just need to remember this. Because my faith isn't going to change whether what I want happens NOW or two days from now or two months from now. My God is always there.

Tales of a Football Wife

Jay is coaching again this year, and I think I forgot how crazy it can get! Last week, he had practice, games, CPR training, practice, games.... This week he has a game every single day except Wednesday. Yes, you read that right. Even Saturday there is an afternoon game.

Needless to say, he is fairly exhausted. I feel bad for him - he literally comes home, jumps in the shower, eats dinner, and goes straight to bed. Thankfully, he really enjoys it.

So, I volunteered to make sure all his football players are fed before/after each game, depending on if it is home or away and whether they get to go home after school or not. Today, their game starts at 5:00 (Jr High always seems to start a little early), so I am going to make sure they have a snack to eat after school.

I enjoy being the wife of a coach most of the time, although I do miss my husband, for sure. But, these are the times we will look back on and have great memories.

1st Anniversary Celebrations

Justin and I celebrated our ONE YEAR wedding anniversary on Monday, September 3rd. I cannot even begin to believe that it has been a year. We had a wonderful, wonderful weekend celebrating together.

But before I talk about that, I just have to say - you always hear that your first year of marriage is the hardest. Well, if that is the "hardest" it will ever be for us, then we are golden :) Yes, there were, and still are periods of adjustment. No matter how long you have been with someone OR how much you love them, living with them 24/7 has its own sets of challenges. But, we have come out at the end of this year stronger than ever.

On Monday, I kept thinking back. I remember our wedding day like it was yesterday. All the excitement and nervousness. Giddiness. Pure J-O-Y.

I remember waiting with my Dad to walk down the aisle, watching him fight back tears. How excited I was.

Taking the hand of Justin, praying together and FINALLY walking down the aisle as husband and wife.

I thought my heart would jump out of my chest!

My thoughts haven't changed either. Even after a year, I am excited to see him after a day of work. I still get butterflies when I know he is on his way home, or vice versa. I HATE being away from him, for any length of time. Yep, we are still "honeymooning" and I hope it never, ever changes.

That being said, this weekend was a wonderful reminder of how blessed we are.

We booked a room for Saturday night at the Westin St. Louis because my generous parents bought us tickets to see the Lion King at the Fox Theatre.

Our 'heavenly bed' at the Westin.

Yes, we broke into the mini bar :)

I need this shower at home, please.

And this bathtub. And entire bathroom.

Before heading to the Fox.

Fox Theatre

The LION KING!!!

The Lion King was absolutely amazing. I teared up a little from pure joy! I was amazed at the animals! We had such a fun time. Then we went to Jack-in-the-Box afterwards. Haha! I know that for most that sounds awful. But - St. Louis is our closest one. And seriously, there is nothing better than greasy fried food at midnight :)

Sunday we got up and went to the West County Mall & Galleria, then to Trader Joes. We slept in pretty late and ate breakfast at the hotel, then got ready and headed out. It was fun to be back around my old stomping grounds. Sunday night, we ended up going down to Laclede's Landing and eating at the Old Spaghetti Factory. I don't know that I would eat there often, but it was fun for a once in a while meal.

Before heading out to eat.

YUMMY Olive Tapenade!

Monday, we got to go to the St. Louis Cards game!! My sweet, awesome little brother SURPRISED us with tickets FIVE rows from the first base field line. It was so fun!! The game was great and the weather was perfect baseball weather.

Our view.

Finally, we headed home Monday evening to celebrate with cake and champagne :) We had a mini-wedding cake made for our anniversary and decided to just have that for supper. Worked for me!

Broke out the fine china!

I must say, don't know how we will top our first anniversary, but I am sure we will figure out a way!

PS - To reminisce about our wedding with me, go here, here, here , here, here, here!

Thoughtful Tuesday

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This says enough :) Back soon for an update on FIRST anniversary!

Thoughtful Tuesday (on Wednesday): Thoughts on Marriage

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Our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY is approaching on Monday. Seriously, I feel like it was just yesterday that we were married. I can remember every little moment. I look at the photographs and it is like I am right. there.

It was the absolute best day of my life. A day I had waited for, patiently, for SO long. God is SO good people! He brought us through so much, and gave us a beautiful celebration as a reminder of how far we had already come.

Marriage has always been something to serious to me. Something sacred and special. Something you do not jump into lightly. Something you PROTECT.

My husband is the most important person in my life. When we joined together in marriage, we made the ultimate decision and commitment to start a family together, and honor it above all else. These days, I think some people jump into marriage thinking "oh well, might as well do this. If it doesn't work we will just divorce." Whereas, for me, it was the opposite.

Our marriage has grown by leaps and bounds over this year. We've polished it. Kept it from becoming ordinary. Prayed over it. Asked God nightly to lead us where He wants us to go - together.

I am so blessed that God gave me this wonderful, compassionate, beautiful human being for a husband.

Not Much Going On....

I am a bundle of nervous energy right now. We got a call yesterday that someone was interested and wanted to look at our house today! YAY! I have prayed that if this is the right person/family, that whatever God intends to happen HAPPENS. If it is meant to sell, it does without complications.

Regardless, our house is now spotless. LOL! Nothing like knowing someone is going to be critiquing your house with a fine tooth comb to get ya moving. Nothing out of place and you could eat off every surface. That will last about, oh - until tonight when we are home :) It is hard to live in a house that could be on display at any second.

So fingers crossed. We love our house, but we also know that it is time to move on. It has been a wonderful starter home, but we (I) need a little more privacy. So I guess we will see how it goes. If it doesn't work, then it wasn't in God's plan for us. Maybe next time.

In other news, not much going on. Just work and home. Justin is so busy with football, and doesn't get home until late in the evening most days. It will be like that until the end of October. I can't complain, though, because he really enjoys coaching (most of the time!).

I am looking forward to fall and all it brings. Hoping for some good news around the corner!

Just Another Day

This has been a long week so far. I've been so on edge it is not even funny. But today has been remarkably better, so that is good.

There is so much floating around in this brain of mine. I am working so hard on keeping my big mouth shut about certain things.... Well, at least, picking my "battles" so to say, and venting about the rest of the bullcrap to someone else.

I guess everyone has those times. Where you just get so pissy at the way the world and people in it work, and you just word vomit all the problems you have out on the person that doesn't need to hear them, because it isn't fair? Yeah, I am bad about that. I need to think before I speak!!

On the other hand, sometimes I feel like I don't always have a person other than that one to listen. I've never been good at talking about MY feelings. I can dissect, analyze, talk about anyone else's for hours on end, and use my training and education to help. But when I am upset about sometime, I prefer to sweep it under the proverbial rug.

I'm thinking that I should have some stellar patience. God is really trying to teach me that my life is His, not mine, to control. I hear Him loud and clear. Unfortunately, my ego and plain 'ol human side prevents me from always listening. I really need to work on that.... Pray about it. Ask for help when I need it.

I mean, if I never TELL anyone that I need someone to listen, then how are they supposed to know? You can't fault someone for not doing something they didn't even know you needed. Right?

Thoughtful Tuesday (better late than never)

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This made me laugh. Because I'm preeeeetty sure I do this daily. Ha! I sometimes think God is like "oh goodness, here she goes again!" But He is the only "person" that will listen to me talk and talk and never tune out :)

That's all I have today. I'm tired.....

Rainy Reflections

I'm sitting outside on our patio swing, listening to it rain and the cicadas, with my puppy at my feet. Waiting on my wonderful husband to get home from football practice (two hours late!) and I am just reminded how precious life is. How blessed I am. Life could not get much better for us, even with the downs it sometimes brings. I'm so content to be right where I am.

I don't know that, until within the last year, I have felt this content. I'm really working hard on just letting things go. To not dwell on what I don't have, can't fix, need to do, or person I so desperately want to accept me. Instead, to just be in the now and stop wishing for something more or different and be grateful for what is right smack dab in front of me.

We have so many hopes and dreams for our next year of marriage. But, regardless of whether or not they happen, I know one ultimate truth: I am married to my very best friend and partner, and with him by my side, I have what I need.

I've been reading Proverbs 31 and really thinking about the type of wife I want to be. Need to be. I want to be worth "far more than rubies" (31:10) and "clothed with strength and dignity" to "laugh at the days to come" (31:25). I want to speak with wisdom and have faithful words on my tongue (31:26).

It is on my mind tonight as I sit here in peace and quiet, reflecting on the last few days. That's my goal... To be the kind of wife that reflects Proverbs 31. Here I go...

Just Hanging On

I'm here, but that is about it. I am really looking forward to a 3-day weekend, because I have tomorrow off work. That makes me very happy! I am so exhausted this week. I didn't get a lot of sleep last weekend, then with everything going on this week, I have just not gotten the amount of sleep I need to properly function.

I am hoping that tomorrow I can clean house and get groceries. Sounds exciting, doesn't it? We have not been to the grocery store in over two weeks, so we are really running low on fresh produce! I need to re-stock with as many easy, healthy options as I can find, because I have really struggled to stay on the diet bandwagon these past couple of weeks.

We have a massage scheduled for Saturday. It is our thing :) We always take the time (and the money) about every six weeks to go. Some probably think it is extravagant, but we always pay our bills and save a large amount of money monthly, so this is what we do. Gotta find happiness whenever and wherever you can.

Let me just say, also, I seriously fall more in love with my husband every day. I LOVE him so much it hurts sometimes. He is such a sweet, loving, caring man of God I could have ever asked for. What a tremendous blessing.

For Better....

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Love Them Anyway

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This means so many things to me right now. So, so many. My heart is just hurting for various reasons.... And I have always been the type of person to internalize everyone else's feelings so that they become mine. To feel like I am a failure if the people I love, help, care for don't succeed.

I do not have a lot of words today. I just have been dwelling on this thought. All we can do, especially as Christ-Followers, is to LOVE one another. Not love with an agenda, love only if you follow my rules, love when you sin the way I sin and not any other way - but pure, simple, love.

When something tragic happens to anyone close to you, it gives you perspective. Hindsight is 20/20. It also sucks. But it also makes you step back and take a look at what you have. The bottom line is, I have the love of my life. As long as I have that, I don't care what else as far as "material" things go. I am so happy and blessed right where I am, that all those little things I think I need/want - don't matter.

It also reminds you who in your life really does care about you and your loved ones. Who takes the time just to check in, if nothing else. To offer condolences or help. My family now is surrounded by so much love, that it makes my heart swell for those who are at their deepest hour of need. They know, without a doubt, they are loved. It also reminds you who in your life is too caught up in something else, whatever it is, for whatever reason, to stop and think, "Oh hey, they might need me today." But to those, what can you do - but love anyway?

Be thankful and grateful for who you have. Every single person. Love them.

Sadness

My heart is so heavy today. I am at a loss for words. I just don't understand.... How or why.

I am also mad. So mad that two children were left without a father. Left with no one to walk her down the aisle, cheer at the volleyball games, see the, graduate high school. Without a father to teach him how to date, throw a football, turkey hunt. A wife who is now without a partner. A wife who now has to be mom and dad all in one.

I'm mad at the people out there who have all of this and want to throw it away. Who just don't care enough to try when they have the chance. Who are too wrapped up in themselves to realize what's right there.

My heart breaks for everyone left behind to wonder what really happend. To question what went wrong. I'm just so, so sad....

Date Night in Instagram

We had a date night last night. This is Jay's last weekend of summer so we had to love it up. The following sums up the date :-)