Expectations

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Ah, yes. This explains a lot!

The hubs and I were having a conversation about this the other evening. First, I must stop and say that it is pretty awesome to be able to talk through sensitive issues with your partner, without anyone becoming upset, and actually finding some peace and resolution.

But that is neither here nor there. And my issues aren't about him :) Thankfully.

Anywho, I tend to have "unrealistic" expectations about what I expect from others. Which means, I set myself up to have hurt feelings or to be offended. It's not always the other person's fault, if they are TRYING to the best of their ability.

On the other hand, I am such a nurturer. Honestly, a lot of people call me only when they need something. Or when something goes wrong. Because they know I won't turn them down or say I can't help. It is usually quite the opposite - I jump in and do everything I can.

So I end up expecting people to do the same for me, because I am willing (and often do) it for them. I expect more from a lot of the people close to me than I actually get back.

And that hurts. It is sad. But I need to remember that I don't do these things because I expect it to be returned. Yet, when I actually DO need something, or am having a bad day, it would be nice to know I could call them and have support or help.

Sometimes I just struggle. I often feel like I am being used. Maybe I need to stand up for myself. I don't really know the answer. Maybe if just once I said "Actually, I can't help. You only call me when you need me to do something, and that hurts," I would stop having this problem.

But we all know I'll never work up the nerve to say THAT :)